Missing children – what to tell your children before the unthinkable happens

Over the weekend one of the forums I frequent is abuzz with the news of a missing 10 year old girl. It is the best friend of the daughter of one of the regulars. Each day I log on, hoping to read that the child has been found safe.

It got me to thinking of something that I may have posted before, yet it needs to be posted again.

As parents, we typically tell our kids to be wary of strangers, not go get into someone’s car and some families even come up with a safe word or code word, to let a child know the stranger is there on the parent’s behalf.

Over the years we’ve heard stories of children who were abducted and with their abductors for a long period of time. During the captivation, the children often had opportunities to escape, and many of us wonder….why didn’t the escape? These children often explain that their captors convinced them their parents had given them away, or no longer wanted them.

As parents, we wonder, how could that happen? How could a child NOT know their parent had not given them away, especially when that parent has openly expressed love for that child?

Well, I believe the answer is that as parents, while we may tell our children we love them, and that they need to be wary of strangers, we rarely tell them expressly “there are bad people out there, and they lie to children, and tell them their parents no longer want them, or have given them away ----- I will love you forever, and under no circumstance would I ever give you away. If anyone ever tells you that, it is a lie. Remember, it is a lie. I would look for you forever.”

I believe, this is something we need to tell our children.