The tightrope we walk, between childhood and adulthood

My daughter is an amazing young woman. She is intelligent, supremely kind hearted, and was delivered an extra serving of common sense.

I remember when she was a very little girl, and her brother (who is three years older) was outside with a friend. The two boys had what they thought was a brilliant idea. They would climb into the wheel barrel and ride down the street. They never considered the severe downward slope of the street, or worked out the details of how to stop, should the necessity arise. But hey, it would be a cool ride!

Elizabeth came into the house, and quietly got my attention. She informed me, in a very no nonsense tone, a manner which is not easy for a kindergartener to pull off, of what her brother and his friend were about to attempt, and then adding “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Her tone was not that of a squealing sibling. She was not motivated by a desire to get her big brother in trouble.

We had a rule in our house. No tattling on the sibling. The exception was if there was a possibility of physical harm, to anything or anyone.

Yet, that day I don’t believe Elizabeth was making use of our family’s tattling loophole, to snitch on her brother.

She simply did not think the wheel barrel ride was a good idea.
She was right. But, Elizabeth is often right about a good many things.

It was not that long ago that she was a child in our home. Now she is a young woman, who is still working out the equilibrium of independence and adulthood.

There are times when she wants to choose a path that is different than one I would choose. She pauses, is hesitant, and feels that uncertainty of choice. When we make choices, we should weigh our decisions on the substance of opinions, not by who offered those opinions.

I want my children to make their own choices, even if that means those choices conflict with my opinions. Occasionally they will make wrong choices. But, that is a condition children inherit from their parents; the ability to make wrong choices.

Yet, more often, their choices will be the right ones.